someone mentioned april fools today, and it reminded me that last year a couple of radio DJs got taken off the air and almost faced felony charges because they told their audience that the local water supply was contaminated with “Dihydrogen Monoxide” and alot of people panicked
Dihydrogen - (two hydrogen)
Monoxide - (one oxygen)
some guys almost got arrested for telling people there was water in their taps.
"She always said angels were watching over me. Bet she never thought I’d end up watching over an angel myself."
I am not the first person you loved.
You are not the first person I looked at
with a mouthful of forevers. We
have both known loss like the sharp edges
of a knife. We have both lived with lips
more scar tissue than skin. Our love came
unannounced in the middle of the night.
Our love came when we’d given up
on asking love to come. I think
that has to be part
of its miracle.
This is how we heal.
I will kiss you like forgiveness. You
will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms
will bandage and we will press promises
between us like flowers in a book.
I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat
on your skin. I will write novels to the scar
of your nose. I will write a dictionary
of all the words I have used trying
to describe the way it feels to have finally,
finally found you.
And I will not be afraid
of your scars.
I know sometimes
it’s still hard to let me see you
in all your cracked perfection,
but please know:
whether it’s the days you burn
more brilliant than the sun
or the nights you collapse into my lap
your body broken into a thousand questions,
you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I will love you when you are a still day.
I will love you when you are a hurricane.
So I think my mom and I really bonded today
Baby boy wants a bite of my cheesecake
Look how vicious Rottweilers are
i made a graph of my personality
Step back, peeps, and fasten your seat-belts. Time to bring in a puberty professional.
…. wait. That’s not right. Hold on.
Let’s fast-forward about five more years.
Ah, yes, there we go. Right after I sold my soul to Satan.
Naw son you can’t be hot in both genders you fucking cheated
I’m fine with this. If it means said place is complying with the ACA instead of trying to get around it by kicking their employees on to the exchanges via cutting hours to part-time, great. Here’s two dimes.
Twenty cents for a bill of over $20. So that employees get health insurance. This is a fucking ADVERTISEMENT for Obamacare.
DO YOU FUCKING REALIZE THAT THE SALES TAX WITH THE OBAMACARE TAX IS ONLY 8%???!
I LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, AND OUR TAXES ARE 12%AND WE GLADLY PAY THAT
IF YOU’RE HAVING A WHINY LITTLE FIT OVER 8%, GROW UP
Aasif Mandvi interviews Fox Business commentator, Todd Wilemon.